True Love Is Self-Giving, not Self-Getting
My dear brothers and sisters, following Christ is not complicated. In fact, today Jesus reduces the essence of what it means to be his follower into one sentence. This sentence is his New Commandment, a commandment that summarizes everything he has taught: "Love one another as I have loved you." If we do that, we are on Christ's path, and we will experience the joy and meaning that only God can give.
And to make it even simpler (because he knows that we tend to complicate things unnecessarily), Jesus explains exactly what he means by the word "love," a word the Devil is always trying to distort: "A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends."
In other words, love is self-giving, and so, the greater the self-giving, the greater the love. When we put our lives at the service of others, when we live in order to give and not to take, when we are willing to suffer so that someone else can rejoice, then we may call ourselves his disciples. But Jesus went even further in order to make sure we would understand. He didn't explain the meaning of true love just with words; he also explained it with his deeds, with his own suffering and death.
He accepted mockery, humiliation, torture, rejection, injustice, misunderstanding, betrayal, and finally death, not because he was too weak to resist, but to show us what love really is: self-giving, self-forgetful generosity.
Jesus Christ hanging on the cross; bearing the weight of our sins; thinking not of himself but of the men and women he came to save, even pleading for their forgiveness up until the very end; giving without counting the cost, even without asking for something in return - this is God's idea of love. It is ours?
Aragorn and Arwen
My dear brothers and sisters, if you are fans of Peter Jackson's 2001 movie, The Fellowship of the Ring, you will get a glimpse of an unusual love story. For you who never know that movie, let I breakdown little bit.
Aragorn, the heir to the throne of the great Kingdom of Gondor, is anxious and fearful about his responsibility to defend Middle Earth against the evil menace of Sauron. In the midst of his melancholy and doubt, Arwen, the beautiful Elf-Princess, finds him and comforts him.
They have known each other for a long time, and it is clear that they are in love. But Arwen is an Elf, and elves are immortal. So, if she were to marry Aragorn, a mere human, she would have to give up her immortality.
That has made them hesitate to pledge themselves to each other, even though their love is deep. As she tries to encourage Aragorn, Arwen realizes that only the power of true love can give him the strength he needs to fulfill his mission.
She reaffirms her love for him, but she sees that it is not enough just to tell him that she loves him. She has to show it. In that moment, she overcomes all of their previous hesitations and decides that she will give herself completely to him, sacrificing her immortality out of love, and she says in a passionate whisper: "I choose a mortal life."
In the movies, we always recognize that true love is costly - it's about giving oneself more than indulging oneself. Somehow, that's what makes it beautiful. This is what Jesus meant when he told his parable about the grain of wheat.
If it falls into the ground, gets buried, and dies, it ends up becoming a new plant and producing hundreds of new grains of wheat. But if it refuses to die, to sacrifice, to give of itself, it remains just a single grain of wheat.
Reversing the Angle on Our Relationships
Reversing the angle on our relationships is an idea of true love. This is not pie-in-the-sky; it's practical. For example, it gives us a way to see our relationships from God's perspective. From a merely human perspective, we tend to look at our relationships in terms of what we get out of them.
This person is enjoyable to be around; this person rubs me the wrong way; this person is always asking favours. But when we understand that the path to true wisdom and lasting joy is Christ-like love, self-forgetful, self-giving love, those considerations begin to take a back seat.
When we are self-centred, we tend to be passive and reactive. But when we are Christ-centred, we tend to be proactive. We see relationships in terms of what we can give to them, and that's much more dynamic and energizing. Imagine starting the week by making a list of things you want to do for people.
It would change the whole tone of our week; we would be lighting lights instead of dodging shadows. This week: think of one small thing you can do to ease the burdens of your spouse; think of one small thing you can do to make your boss's or coworker's job just a little bit easier; think of one small thing you can do to bring some encouragement and joy into your parents' lives; think of a friend or relative who is suffering, and think of one small thing you can do to help support them. Is it really so simple? Yes.
This is what self-giving looks like in real life. It is within all of our reach, if we are willing to step out of our comfort zones. Jesus did it for us on the wood of the cross, today, this week, let's promise to do it for him on the pavement of our daily lives.
Month of Mary
In Catholic tradition, the month of May is dedicated to Mary. Mary is chosen by God above all other women. Mary's faith and obedience paved the way for the Incarnation. Her example teaches us faith, obedience, humility, and most of all, how to love. According to St. Thomas of Villanova, "If in this world any creature ever loved God with whole heart, with whole soul, and with whole mind, she was the creature."
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines Mary's unique role as being honored above all other saints, including the Apostles. At the foot of the cross, her heart broke for Jesus, yet she accepted God's will not only for her Son but for herself in her new role as mother to us all. (John 19:25-27) So, not only is she the mother of Jesus, and thus, the Mother of God, but she is also the Mother of the Church.
The pious practice of honoring Mary during May has been especially promoted by the Popes. Pius XII made frequent reference to it in his great Encyclical on the Sacred Liturgy Mediator Dei. He characterized it as one of "other exercises of piety which although not strictly belonging to the Sacred Liturgy, are nevertheless of special import and dignity, and may be considered in a certain way to be an addition to the liturgical cult: they have been approved and praised over and over again by the Apostolic See and by the Bishops"
In his 1965 encyclical, Pope Paul VI delighted in honoring Mary in May because of the "rich benefits to the Christian people." Why? Because "the person who encounters Mary cannot help but encounter Christ likewise. For what other reason do we continually turn to Mary except to seek Christ in her arms, to seek our Savior in her, through her, and with her?"
"In the end, we should realize the great gift we have as Catholics. Honoring Mary seems natural to us. We honor our mother in heaven as easily as we honor our mothers on earth," Bishop Pohlmeier said. "From all mothers, we learn a great deal. From Mary, we learn the greatest thing, how to love God himself." As we honor our earthly mothers in May, let's honor our heavenly mother as well. "During May we pray with our mother that we may love Jesus as she does."
The ways Mary is honored in May are as varied as the people who honor her. It's common for parishes to have a daily recitation of the Rosary during May, and many erect a special May altar with a statue or picture of Mary as a reminder of Mary's month. Additionally, it's a long-standing tradition to crown the statue of Mary in May. Often, the crown is made of beautiful blossoms representing Mary's beauty and virtue. It's also a reminder to the faithful to strive to imitate our Blessed Mother's virtue in our own lives.
We can and should be doing the same in our homes. When we echo the customs and traditions of the Church in our homes – our domestic churches – we participate more fully in the life of the Church.
If you haven't already, I encourage you to erect a prayer corner in your home. No matter how fancy or simple it is. The main point is that it's a place designated for God, and more specifically, for spending time with him. Just as you need a proper atmosphere to sleep, you also need a proper atmosphere to pray.
For May, give Mary a special spot in your prayer corner. It can be a statue or picture, but place there some representation of our Blessed Mother. Make it appealing and a real tribute to her beauty and virtue.
Honor Mary because she is our Mother - your mother, my mother, everyone's mother - and because she cares for all of us day in and day out, interceding for us in even the smallest things. For that, she deserves a whole month in her honor.